“You can find a husband at the Man’s Warehouse”

It seems like over a year since I have written about things happening in my life. I have been so very busy with children, church, non-profit organizations and school, that there just does not seem to be enough hours in the day. I continue to see my chiropractor several times a week with my back because of the car accident I had back in August, this also takes my time ~ time that just aggravates me to no end that I am loosing.

My kids are more than ready for school to be totally over for me. What they do not seem to realize is that once I finish school I will have to get a job. They are spoiled I guess and they think they deserve more of my time. I will have to learn how to juggle time with kids and corporate America way to soon. I have told the kids that I either have to get a job when I get finish with school or marry a man that believes I need to raise my children before working outside of the home. They are hoping for the latter but as I continue to tell them it is going to take an act of God because I do not have time to go find a man that meets our list of requirements. (They have some and I have some).

It has been over eight years since Jim died and I will admit that I don’t relish spending the rest of my life with out a mate. I want to have someone to share my life with and enjoy the treasure of love.

I take great pains (tongue in cheek) to point out men that might make a good daddy. I see them sitting in traffic with their Harleys and long beards with tattoos covering every inch of skin. My children however do not seem to appreciate my choices, and have strict guidelines that I must follow.

He must be a Christian one who will be a spiritual leader. (we all agree with this one)
He must be my age or older…. They don’t seem to think I should look at men young enough to be my son.
He must like kids
He must be willing to toss a football or a baseball (required by my son as I am not the greatest ball thrower)
He must like old people
He must have good behavior (no drinking, cussing, yelling or hitting)
He must be a hard worker
He must have a house
He must like dogs
He must like our church ~ as my daughter seems to think it is the only place we can go.

I have a precocious nine-year-old son who seems to think that if I would just follow his advice I would have a husband in no time at all. For the last two years he has been trying to get me to go to the “Men’s Warehouse”. Apparently, at the Men’s Warehouse women can just come in and make their selection. According to my son in order to find a Christian man, I just need to go to the rack where the Christian men are hanging. ~ So simple yet I have not gone, as I do not want to disappoint my child and arrive home empty handed.

Can you imagine a store for women where all they have to do is shop in one place for the mate of their choice? There could even be custom designs. Just place all the criteria in a computer and if your design is not available in the store just wait for a few days as the salesmen scan the five state area to see if there is one close or maybe she’ll have to wait a few weeks for the custom model to be manufactured.

The possibilities are endless. Racks with tall men, short men, skinny models and even the highly desired buff models would surround the showroom floor. Bins with returned men a little used but still in good working order are bargin priced. There are high-end models as well as clearance models but please beware of the glossy men as they only shine on the outside. At this Men’s Warehouse there is even the camo section where women can find a man that will disappear once deer season opens and then re-appear once it closes ~ this could always be advantageous for the woman as she might enjoy the opportunity to go shopping and have the girls over for tea in his absence. There is a rack in each section of the store that carries men who love God.

In all the Men’s Warehouse of my son’s mind is the perfect place for a widowed woman to find herself a husband. Maybe I just need to bite the bullett and head on over ~ I might be surprised!