Friday, April 07, 2006

Weary Soul

Sleepless nights follow the death of a spouse. Anything but going back to bed and laying alone at night. Activities, which occupy evenings darkness, are embraced. Nights are most difficult as the surviving spouse surveys his or her bed where hearts met and exchanges of secrets passed from one lover to the other. Dreams are kept silent.

The children finally have started sleeping in their own beds and thoughts of being alone on the large mattress keep the lonely heart weary. Waking and turning reaching with outstretched arm only meets emptiness. The body whose indentions still crease the mattress are but a faint reminder of passion once experienced. There is no one with whom to convey thoughts with during the night. Life becomes lonely, as the clock tics night after night. To be embraced with love seems so far away. Darkness encapsulates the sorrow. Will it ever go away?

`O Sorrow, why do you continue to hang on to this weary soul? Is it not possible to for you to let go? You have captured the soul in the darkness and celebrate its loneliness. Sleep brings back memories as if the present does not exist and dreams bring joy if only for a moment until Sorrow jars its slumbering prisoner, and loss is fresh again.

Peace is sought in every corner yet it remains unattainable for days, into years. Moonlight squeezes into pathways lightening the trails towards the dawning day. The sunshine peaks over the horizon slicing through the darkness where sorrow dwells. Morning nears and the light of day is welcomed with relief. Another long night has passed.

Sorrow that weights the soul can only hold on as long as the surviving spouse refuses to let light into their life. The light is more than just mere sunlight, for it is the light of the son who can chase away the darkness. The son of God is more than able to handle the deep sorrow experienced by the surviving spouse.

The Psalmist David writes, “He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds” (Ps 147:3). In addition, David tells the reader “…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5). For some spouses there is a fear of going the road alone. David tackles those thoughts in Psalms 91:5 saying, “Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day”.

The walk through the valley of the shadow of death has been made and the fear of evil vanishes when the walk is taken with God’s son. The light of life will bring joy, love and laughter back to the heart of the surviving spouse.

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